Welcome to my birthday carnival exploring the question –
“Do I deserve to be Happy?”
A state of mind. If one can control mind over matter, then happiness is a way of life!
This is something I told a dear blogger friend back in 2013 when she was curating a post on happiness. And this has been my mantra for as long as I can remember.
Mind you, I have not always been this happy grateful self. I am not sure when I grew into this woman but I know it has been a journey of self-love. As a child, I was very insecure, and I was always trying to fit in. The result – I was left hanging midway and never truly understood who I am as a person. If you were to ask my family and close friends who know me, they would say I had or maybe still do have, a split personality. To them I was the outspoken one, who knew what she wanted and grabbed it by its neck. To others I was the meek sincere girl who was ever trying to please others and trying to gain acceptance. Really, I was just trying to balance between these two extremes.
But why? Why do we have this inherent need to please others and be in line or catch up to other people’s definition of happiness. The moment I stopped doing that, and focussed on self was when I realized I deserve to be happy, no matter what.
You have to love yourself, truly from the core, beyond the superficial web of looks, career and all that jazz, to be able to answer the question ‘Do I deserve to be happy?’ in the affirmative.
This question, then really, translates to how do I accept and love myself?
All our lives we are conditioned to believe that we have to be good enough or work hard enough to achieve what we want. And when, what we want, be it materialistic things or life experiences, has been ticked off our list, only then can we be happy. But do you realize if ‘being happy’ is made out to sound like work, you will never be happy. You will always feel exhausted, depleted by having to have worked.
Happiness is not a state where everything is perfect. We don’t live in an utopian world.
It is a state, where things may not go according to plan, yet you don’t stop believing in yourself, you don’t stop loving yourself and continue to learn and grow.
Whenever questions such as, ‘I didn’t achieve enough’ or ‘I didn’t do enough with my life’ hover above your head, just stop.
Stop, give yourself a break. Stop, breathe in, and breathe out gratitude. Stop judging yourself. It is hard enough that others do.
Stop and let yourself be happy. Make that choice. You deserve it.
Aditi is one of the new friends I made during the AtoZ Challenge in April … I just fell in love with her writing style and the theme she did over on her blog.
Thank you Aditi for being a part of my birthday celebrations.
About the wonderful Author:
Aditi Kaushiva is a compulsive traveler, dancer, author, an eclectic writer and co-founder of The Dance Bible, an Indian based dance management and networking platform for dance lovers. She dabbles in travel writing, arts and culture, and fiction on her blog Aditi’s Pen and hopes to publish her second book soon.
Spread the #happy happiness – comment and share. #isheeria